The Enemy In Me...Fear..Laughs and My Trip to NYC (Lots of Photos)

So many things have transpired since my last post. I went to New York to attend the Finale of FFFWeek. New York it's self is something to see however being in the presence of plus size fashion moguls, designers, models and other artists is sure to leave you inspired! While I was there I spent some much needed time reconnecting with my Godmother and God-sister. I even reconnected with some old industry friends, mentors and made new connections. The biggest connection during my time away was actually getting to enjoy myself and reevaluating why I love who I am and why I do what I love to do. It was really a time for me to reconnect with myself and get true to me! This blog is partly about fashion so on to what I wore..

FFFWeek Stands for Full Figured Fashion Week, so my fashion and style had to be two things one of my own liking and FIRECE!

Farrah of the, Estrella Fashion Report

My God-Sister Jasmine and I

The event started out with a 90's event (hence my dark Makeup). I wanted to go simple but still dress the theme so I wore a sheer cheetah print button down with skinny jeans with a illusion cami underneath and of course flats. I leave the heels to the babies. I have been there and done that!

The Original Runway Diva, Sharon Quinn and I

Madeline Jones, Plus Model Magazine (This lady taught me how to "Werk my facial features back in my modeling days)
 

Bree Wooley 2014 Face of FFFWeek & I

Cassy Jones-McBryde,
Founder of the Fuller Woman Expo and I

The Second event that I attended was THE Event of all events! I was so excited this event was held on a yacht. It was my first time on a yacht. This was a all white event. It took me months to find "the perfect dress". It is always hard to find that perfect dress it is intensified because it is a Full Figured event and we all pretty much shop at the same places. I was pleasantly surprised at the creativity and the style of these ladies, these ladies came with their "A game" with confidence in check! I got my dress from Ashley Stewart cyber stalked that dress for months until it went down to the price I wanted it to.

So Beautiful

Tons of beauty

Shanangans with Liz & Jazz

NYC Baby!!!

Beat Face Honey!!!

I felt as good as I looked!

At the "Queens Table"

No voyage is complete without my partner

Beautiful Models

Another event I attended was  VIP event for special guests of Ms. Gwen Devoe, Founder of FFFWeek (and my Industry "Auntie" and Mentor) this was a really special event it was a chance for everyone to get to know one another and have a great time at the same time! It was such an honor to be invited and I made some awesome new buddies at this event! I went a little more casual to this event because I had to go to this event in the cab and subway alone. 

Easy, Breezy, Beautiful!

I wore a shirt with my business logo on the front and my name on the back. I  wore a black tuxedo pencil skirt with leggings underneath and some comfortable shoes. I did a basic face with "Ruby Woo" lipstick by MAC (One of my favorites) One of my Facebook friends watched me for a half hour trying to figure out If I was Tally, (due to the weight loss) once she discovered who I was I laughed at her for a half hour and we had !

No event is complete without Liz

Marie Leggette of
The Curvy Fashionista (Blogger Extraordinaire)

Cassy and I

Rosie Mercado (Former Face of FFFWeek) and I

Bree and I 

Nina, Toy, (Two Former Faces of FFFWeek) and I

Nina and I (Facebook Buddies who FINALLY met)



While in New York i was blessed with the opportunity to do makeup for Plus Model Shoots (A case of being in the right place at the right time!) I went to the shoot to support my sister at her photo shoot and I ended up doing makeup. I was there in sweats, hair in a pony tail and no makeup. I had on my Diva shades and I was out the door. NYC reiterated to me the need to always be ready! This was one of my less glamorous days. I had planned on helping her at the shoot, being there an hour tops and going back to bed until the "main event" the Indie Designer Showcase (fashion showcase), God had a different plan! I linked up with an old pageant sister of mine who was actually sponsoring this event and  we got a chance to hang out basically all day and catch up while we both worked. 

Rocking the Plus Model Shoots Tee

My tired face after all the work,
I was at the fashion show in sweats

Here is a sneak peek at some of the work I did: Cover Credit to:

@plusmodelshoots Production
Photo: Zakiyah Caldwell for The PhotoSalon
Skirt: @onyiiandco
Retoucher: Poetic Image

Makeup Artist Tally Anderson

After a long day of work and hanging out a bit we headed to the Indie Showcase, it did not disappoint! I commend the professional bloggers and photographers it was so hard for me to get photos because I just wanted to watch the show. By the time I decided I wanted a photo of a garment they were off the stage. The ladies were gorgeous. All different heights, shapes, sizes and colors these were some of the best walks I had ever seen.

Gwen Devoe

 

Models..

Ms. Pinky walking it out!

The following night was the finale fashion showcase these designers were established and had attend FFFWEEK in previous years. The indie show was great so I anticipated that this one would be the "grandfather" of all shows, and it was! I was well rested, I had my "game face" on and I was dressed and ready! My attire was a black cat off the shoulder wide leg cat suit with gold accessories and my hair pulled back with my favorite lip color (Ruby Woo).

 

Models

Jeannie Ferguson and I

While I was in NYC I did get a chance to do some non fashion industry events. I got the chance to see Mali Music in concert. He had his album release party the Tuesday that I was there. I have always loved his ministry however I developed a new level of Love for him and our impact as Christians. He had his album release in a club of all places. I witnessed prayer, praise and worship right in the club it was a powerful testimony of God's unlimited power and reach. It really opened my eyes on how I want to impact the world. I had become so worried and concerned about how others viewed me that I stopped having fun and I lost the joy in life for a few seasons. Mali shared is testimony about how people said all sorts of negative things about him including accusing him of backsliding. Lillies in sharing my life's experiences and lessons with you I pray that I encourage you to live your lives. Have fun! Laugh! Play, it is okay to stop and smell the flowers sometimes. I believe that it is all about balance and not forgetting that you are a human. 

My friend Dre is from New York and he was the one who invited me to see Mali and he also talked me into getting on the Subway alone. Here are s few photos from  that day:

My Boogie Burger

NYC was amazing, every fashionista needs to go there at least once. It has such great food, plenty of things to do and it really never sleeps. We were on Times Square at 2AM and it was lit up with plenty of people, traffic and vendors like it was 8PM. I entitled this entry the enemy in me because this whole trip I had to combat my own fears and just do. I was afraid of the big city alone, but I went and I did it afraid now I feel like I can do anything.  My trip helped me realize how much my fears had heald me back and that day is done and over for me! Fear is False Evidence Appearing Real. This basically means that it is only real if you believe that it is. When was the last time you conquered a fear? 

This probably one of the "heaviest" TBT that I have ever done. Looking back at my HS yearbook I had some fun times but my life was so TRAUMATIC back then. People didn't have a clue the things I had to endure, but I still smiled, got good grades and remained fairly pleasant (to some people..LOL...sorry). My confidence was Nonexistent , I had no clue who I was, my value or what I wanted in life. I didn't realize I could have nice things and that I deserved better than what I was dealt. Over the years I have come to myself and although I "smiled through" a lot from this photo (Sr Picture) you can see the stress on my face. In 2003 is when I found Christ and with each year I have gotten more beautiful and younger looking (by casting all my cares) The glory of the lord will defiantly restore the years!!! Thanks Father!! ‪#‎iftheDevilhadhiswayIDbEdead‬ 

My trip to New York, Full Figured Fashion Week 2014 (The Finale) and Mali Music

As many of you all know I graduated in September of 2013. My God Mother and sister couldn't make it to my graduation so they sent for me, I could have my ticket whenever I wanted it. I decided to kill two birds with one stone, since I had been trying to make it to FFFWeek for many years and each time "Life" happened I was determined to get there this year. It was much more bittersweet when it was announced (after I had gotten my confirmation for my plane tickets) that is would be the final one. I immediately got sad but if I know anything I do know that Gwen DeVoe, it's creator has plenty more in store for us and although it was the "final" this isn't her last hoorah! The workings of Gwen DeVoe and her various organizations has blessed me over the years, not to mention our own very special relationship that has developed and growing. I have so much respect for this woman. She saw a need and created an empire out of it. FFFWeek begin when she and a friend attended A strait sized Fashion week in NYC and although the pieces were lovely, the models were beautiful and she had great seats she didn't see anything for herself in this show; meaning if she wanted to purchase any of the pieces she couldn't because they didn't come in her size. That to me is amazing and it shows that one woman can make a difference! Now on to the festivities: FFFWeek is a week of Fashion tailored events it varies from workshops, on to cocktail parties and of course runway shows. I did not get to attend ever single event however I attended many events. The kick off event was the 90's Party which was hosted by Bree Woodley, the 2014 Face of FFFWeek! Special thanks to  Size Matters Photography 2014 for the capture below. This was me at the 90's Launch Party!

Tuesday was supposed to be a rest day and maybe a dinner with one of my oldest friends Dre and then THIS happened...He texts me and asks if I want to see Mali Music, I was so excited but a little scared because this meant I was going to have to be a big girl and ride the train and subway alone :/ . After some encouragement for my Godmother and Dre I decided that they were right, I am only in NYC for a week and it's not like I can attend an album launch party in Indiana so I went! Mali was magical there was so much energy in that place we praised the roof off that club, yes CLUB!

In light of Mother's Day...Weight Loss update

Mother's Day when I was little was the day that you dressed up and gave your mom presents. The older I got the harder it got for me. I never realized how much the day made me feel more sad and even a little depressed. It was a constant reminder of the negative relationship or the lack thereof I had with my own mother on top of that the thoughts about the baby my husband and I lost a few years ago mentally almost became a bit much but then the Lord began to show me all the mentors and special ladies he sent to sow into me all the things I though I lost. There were so many different seasons in my life, rough ones but the very moment I felt like I wanted to give up these "Angels" in human form would come and pour into me just what I needed. Not just spiritual stuff, one taught me how to shop, another taught me fashion, I talked about boys with another one and so on. I do not have a sad song to sing. Yes, my relationship with my mother and family dynamic was messed up. However I am not missing anything, I was never deprived!  So to my my mentors and even in honor to my own mother (I honor you because you are my momma) Happy Mothers Day!! 

                                    Now on to the weight loss update!!!! I know it has been a while but so much has happened, but it has been a wonderful journey.

I started a weight loss support group called #TeamHealthyCurves we are 25 members strong. My journey has had it's ups and downs but I take this one day at a time. I am enjoying the journey and bring people with me, it has become a way of life for me. If you would have told me over 100lbs ago that I would be here I wouldn't have believed it. I have graduated from college (September 2013) with my Associates Degree and I am currently attaining my Bachelors Degree. I am loving hard and enjoying life! My latter is certainly greater than my former it has very little to do with my waist size but everything to do with me checking back into life. I had given up on so much, especially myself. 

What's next for me? I am going Full Figured Fashioned Week in NYC, Launching my own Brand, and hoping to start a family!