90 Lbs and counting!

Hello L's
It has been a while since I posted

What is your voice saying?

Hey L's!

No one ever begins a journey to fail, that is just not how it happens.  I can remember in my early 20's having my emotional struggles and I ate most of my feelings. Many people wonder and ask "How did you get here?"    Honestly I used to say that I didn't know but I know now, I just lost my way. You see growing up in poverty and homeless many times in my childhood I remember when I did eat I ate like a camel. When you have a childhood like I had you learn to find something good and hold on to it and just deal with the rest! I had always been an emotional eater but it seemed the older I got the worse it had gotten. Food was like my drug. During this journey I have learned that food is just okay and that there are so many other things in my like that are more important. Going out to eat, the food at family functions and all of that are no longer fun for me. I went through what I call a grieving process over it. One thing that I learned about myself during this process is something I have always known but never really taken heed to and that is that I am a survivor and I have so much more strength than I give myself credit for. The security guard at my job says to me at least twice a week "Tally, I can tell that you are feeling better about yourself!" That made me think, how was I carrying myself before my chance. I had always been a confident woman, but somewhere along the way I forgot me! I forgot how to smell the flowers. I forgot how to date myself. Everyone else was a priority and I wasn't! Ladies and gentlemen do not do this!! If you are doing this slowly but surely change this bad habit! We all have a voice and it is our choice how we use it! What is your voice saying?

Now for my progress.... This top is a 22/24 I used to wear a 34/36! I weighed myself at the beginning of the month and I was down 67.5 lbs! 

Remember to set goals, to love yourself and to have fun with YOUR life!

~Tally <3

16 more pounds gone forever!

Hey Lovelies
I know it has been a while since I last posted so much has happened since my last post! I am now 419 (Starting weight 476)!! I am VERY proud of myself! I know I have a way to go however I am moving and that's all that matters!

Valentines Day.....My Progress and what not!

Hello Lovelies,

Here is my recent progress..

As we all know Valentines Day was this week. I am blessed to have so much love around me via friends, family and spiritual family! We show love to each other all year round so I have to admit that this year it snuck up on me. My V-day routine is usually a wonderful romantic weekend , with dinner and all sorts of festivities but due to my surgery I have to admit I just wasn't feeling the going out to eat like I used to. It dawned on me that going out to eat is not fun anymore. I think that it is because I have to put so much thought into what I eat that it can get a little draining at times. Would I change my decision  No way, not at all every path that we take has both ups and downs and this happens to be a down. I never realized how much of a role food played in my life. Food was like my friend. Think about it when some one has a baby we eat, when someone passes we eat, when we wed we eat! It is a part of our culture but I am learning to make wiser decisions and not to over indulge just because everyone else around me is. 

When I was at the restaurant I watched the portions that "we" consume and it made me realize how much I over ate, it really had me thinking. I am often asked "How does it feel" in reference to my surgery and it is really hard to explain. I feel like "myself" but when I look in the mirror I am changing and I am noticing that some of the people around me are expecting me to be different  but I am not! I have never been one to not know who I am, I have always had a great since of my own identity. I am a woman who knows what she wants and how to get it, I have always been that way but even in that I am constantly reevaluating myself. But I think this comes with the territory. I am learning to deal with all the emotions and just be okay with the new territory the lord is allowing me to walk in. When you have WL surgery the change is more than about food, your whole life changes. How is your life changing?

Happy February!

Hello My Lovely "L's"

It's been a week or so since my last post, a lot has happened since I last posted. I had my first check up with my surgeon. It went really well I lost 47lbs WOW!!! (IKR!?) I looked at her like she was lying to me when she told me that. When you have WL surgery the best way to describe how you feel is everything changes around you but you still feel like the same person on the inside. Sometimes when I am in a room full of people (since my surgery) I feel like a painting on a wall or a fish in a fish tank everyone is ALWAYS watching you! I guess it comes with the territory. I have always been a person people looked up to but since my surgery I notice it a whole lot more. Don't worry I don't mind! It actually encourages me to do what I set out to do. I appreciate every smile when I am at the gym (Yes I finally got clearance to go back to Zumba) , I appreciate every person who lets me know that they are rooting for me (even strangers). I am currently on a hunt for some protein (shakes, drink mixes) that taste good. I found one that was okay but I need something that tastes good. So I went to my second "family function" it was a Super Bowl Party. I did well I brought my own food. Guys I was in a house full of sweets, snacks, and MOUNTAIN DEW! O_o  Before my surgery I was in love with Mountain Dew, Chips and Pepsi. I am slowly learning that those things don't need a place in my life. I am finding new things to take up my time. I am laughing more and looking at the silver lining more. I always knew that life is what you make it. We always have an option, we always have a choice and no matter the amount of hell you have been through it does not define you. What didn't kill you was sent to build you!

Keep soaring !

~Tally~

3 Weeks ago my life changed forever

Hey Lilies,
I am officially three weeks out (YAY)! This time is going so fast! It seemed that getting to the point of surgery took forever but once I got there it flew right by. This week has been an interesting one. I went back to work on Monday and my energy was super low. Tuesday I felt like 1 million bucks. I worked all day Wednesday and ended up not getting any sleep because I had a tooth that had bothered me before surgery that I decided to wait on until after I heal from surgery to deal with it and it showed out Wednesday, night I could not get to sleep due to the constant throbbing of two teeth, YIKES! On another note I am starting to see some weight loss in my face you be the judge

I am so excited about my (small victory) I can not wait ti see more progress. My wedding rings are starting to become super loose also. Many people think weight loss surgery is a easy way out so I would like to address those naysayers it is defiantly not a easy way out WL surgery is not for the faint at heart you have you ups and downs and you have to work you butt of to see results. Lilies if you choose this path you have to know that the only one that is changing is you! All of your friends and family will still eat what they want around you and you will have to make yourself walk, eat right and go to the gym. I was so close to 500lbs that it scared me. I wanted my husband to have a wife and I do want children! So if you are considering this path do your research, do it for YOU and embrace the journey!

Things I am looking forward to a few (small things)

• Having beautiful babys
• Having a even better sex life with my husband (keeping it real)
• Energy
• No seatbelt extenders on planes
• Not having to wonder if I am going to fit in (seats, chairs, and other spaces) 
• Shopping, Shopping and more Shopping

You see when you are a bigger person you  (rather you realize it or not) plan out every aspect of your life instead of just enjoying it, I plan on enjoying my life EVEN MORE!

Peace, Love and Blessings to you all!

Tally

Officially 2 Weeks out...hmmmm

Hey Lillies,

I am officially had my surgery 2 weeks ago, WOW! My stitches are all healed up. I can get around a lot better. I am still trying to get the hang of taking the vitamins and drinking the water. My hands and ankles have not been swollen since I had my surgery! Goodbye "cankles"!  The key to this my Lillies is to get those vitamins and that water in. Here are some photos I took last week while I stayed at my friends house! (Sorry no makeup) The thing that I have around my waist they put on my in the hospital. This thing was super tight! I can now stick both arms down it! (Yippie for small victories) Many people ask me "How small do you want to be?" I never have an answer to that question. I have always been a big girl, my aim is to get healthier. When I was smaller I was a hourglass shape, which means I had a small waist and thicker everywhere else. (Find out your shape here http://www.igigi.com/igigiscustom/shape/result/ ) When I was younger I was afraid of my body, people made a bigger deal of my body than I ever did. Most times I wanted to disappear. When you let people make you an object you feel powerless! Thank God for his saving grace and identity that he gave me! The truth of the matter is we all have something (that we wish we can change). Over the years I have learned to embrace who I am and being a Plus Sized Model helped me to do that. Often times when on the road many of the prettiest girls felt the ugliest. People we have to see our selves as God sees us. We are ALL fearfully and wonderfully made and we all have something that works for us. It is up to YOU to find it and ROCK it! This is all I have for now my loves, have a WONDERFUL weekend!

 If you always do what you have always done you WILL get what you always have gotten (NO RESULTS)

My Turning Point...

In February of 2011 my life changed drastically. I was awaken .by sharp pains in the lower region of my body from front to back. I had endured this pain for about two days until a friend of mine made me go to my OBGYN. Up until then I thought that the pain and anguish I was experiencing was just a bad period. We later discovered via my doctor that I had suffered a miscarriage. This was so devastating for me! I blamed myself, I felt like 'How come you don't know you are pregnant"? "What kind of woman are you?" Mentally it was hard to except and I began to eat more and more to hid the pain. Now note that I am have always been a big girl and I always rocked it well, but this blow in my life took me to a place I had never been and that was dissatisfaction with myself! I knew I had to change but I did not know how. I had considered WL Surgery but I had chickened out.

Just the Beginning

This blog will be a little of this and a little of that. I will share my life's ups and downs. My passion for fashion as well as my most recent WL surgery feel free to sit back and join in. All questions and inquiries are welcomed (within reason)!

Blessings and Peace to you Lillies!

Tally